In loving memory of a very special friend

Mariann and I met sometime in 1992, I think. I had purchased my first horse, Tinker, a year or so before and met Mariann when I moved Tinker to the barn where Mariann trained. She and I became fast friends since we were both at the barn so much. Mariann had grown up showing horses and was an amazing rider and excellent trainer. After a while we all moved to a new barn where I did all the 'grunt work' for board. I had my horse to pay for and Tori's little pony, too and money was tight. Soon we all realized this place wasn't going to work for us and we moved to a new place, my place. My then husband and I owned the barn and the land, and Mariann was the trainer. All of our friends, and Mariann's clients, brought their horses out there and soon our barn was full. It was a great time during those years, always hanging out together while we worked, me on the ground and her on horses. Tori grew up and soon Zach was on the way. Mariann was always there for me and we spent hours and hours just talking about life. Our friendship weathered many storms, and aside from my childhood best friend, Mariann was my closest and most trusted friend. When my first marriage was falling apart, Mariann was there for me. She stood beside me and encouraged me. When I divorced in 1997, I left Texas and Mariann and I didn't see each other many more times. I missed her and our relationship, it was hard to stay connected over so many miles. But we tried. We both had such different goals for our lives ... Mariann was pursuing her new passion of skydiving and I was creating a new family with Chris (whom I met when I was out with her, BTW :)). She loved going out and living life to it's fullest and I loved spending the evening with my kids watching movies. It became harder and harder to connect. Eventually, in 2001, we lost touch. It will be a regret I have for the rest of my life. Now I will never have the chance to pick up the phone and talk about all the good times we had. Never a chance to get together and giggle about how much older we look now. She was an incredible person, one with a zest for life and a passion for others. She never met a stranger and was the first person to lend a hand to anyone in need. As talented as she was at riding, she had a humility that amazed all of us who knew her. She will be missed by the many people who's lives she touched. And I am one.
Mariann Kramer died in a freak skydiving accident on Saturday, July 22 at a competition in Denver, CO. Her main parachute failed and she cut it away. She deployed her back up chute and it malfunctioned, sending her into a spin that landed her in a field. She was conscious when they took her to a Denver hospital, but she died hours later. She had made somewhere around 4000 jumps. She was buried today in McKinney, Texas.
Here's to you, Mariann.

Nothing like old friends

Some of our wonderful friends from our last two assignments (both Illinois and Oklahoma) were able to come by yesterday to visit. They were on their way home from vacation and had the afternoon to come by and visit with us all for a while. The boys loved having Brian here to wrestle with, they've missed that rough housing they usually do when Chris is home. And the girls were on their most charming and silliest behavior, thrilled to have some familiar playmates. We hung out for a while, and then went to one of our favorite local restaurants for lunch. It was great having company (and help!) at mealtime. We reminisced about old times and talked about all the things we have going on now and in the near future. Back at the house we let the kids play for a few more hours before they had to get on the road again. Brian even managed to get in a quick nap in our big red chair. I was reminded how comfortable and easy it is to visit with old friends. It was a wonderful afternoon ... thanks guys, come on back anytime and stay awhile :)

Waiting for the storm

It has been depressingly hot and dry here this summer. Even the beautifully manicured lawns are turning brown from lack of rain. We have had thunder and sprinkles a few times, but a real rain shower hasn't materialized. Well, a full blown storm was rolling in the other night and Sophie asked me if she could go outside. I knew there was still a little while before the storm came in, so I acquiesced ;) The weather was wonderful ... breezy, much cooler and perfect for burning off a little energy.
P.S. Yes, that is sidewalk chalk all over Isabelle's face :)

My baby

Sophie is so observant. When Keegan came to visit, her mom changed her on a changing pad on the rug. I was amazed to come into the family room the next day and Sophie had laid out a book, which looked just like a changing pad, and put her baby on top of it. She was trying to put a diaper on the baby and I knew immediately what she was trying to do. This kid is so observant. And adorable. Sometimes I worry that she tries to 'take care' too much and can't fully enjoy being the barely- beyond- a- baby stage of two. I so want her to have times where she can allow herself to be loved and cared for without worrying about caring for someone else. I was so tickled when, just a few days ago, she announced to me "XiaoXiao baby". It was clear she wasn't talking about her baby, but her being the baby. I said "Yes, XiaoXiao is momma's baby". She continued and said "MeiMei baby" and I said "Yes, MeiMei is momma's baby too". She seemed happy with this and has since told me several times that she is the baby. She may weigh 32 pounds and make my legs fall asleep after I hold her for a while, but she can be my baby as long as she wants :)

Home two months!

Two months ago today Sophie and I drug ourselves off of our final flight home. We were in pretty sad shape, but oh so happy to be home! Since then my little girl has not stopped amazing me. Looking back I can see that she was pretty stoic in China, not trusting me enough to let me get to see all the sides of her personality. And I know we still have a ways to go until she completely relaxes and feels confident in her permanence and very cherished spot in our crazy family. But she has come quite a ways in just the last few months. From the beginning she allowed me to care for her and love on her. She let me snuggle her and feed her and wanted to stay close to me. Since we arrived home, she hasn't wanted to let the other kids get too close to her. But slowly she has been opening up to them, holding hands with them, running around with them when they play. After their bath last night I set the girls up on my bed while I dressed them. I went for a diaper and turned back around and they had started tickling each other. It was the cutest thing. I can't wait to see what the next two months will hold for us :)

Playdate with Keegan

Keegan's mom, Cynthia, and I became friends on our CCAI DTC group from last year. Although we didn't travel together, we did meet up at the CCAI reunion last year. Chris and I had already brought Isabelle home, but they hadn't travelled for Keegan yet. So this was the first time I had seen this little angel in person. And *wow* is she cute! They came over and spent the morning at our house since they were in town visiting relatives. My girls had a great time playing with Keegan, and were entertained just by the fact that someone new was here! Cynthia and I got to talking and realized that the kids had all gone back to the boys' room where Dalton had made himself honorary DJ and was spinning some Disney tunes on the CD player. The girls were going wild, dancing, spinning and basically cracking up. It was so sweet to see them all having so much fun together. Afterwards we all went over to McDonalds for some lunch. It gave us the opportunity to talk about Cynthia and Adam's newest addition, Romy. She has the same heart defect as Isabelle and they are hoping to bring her home in November. It was great to see them all again and I know my kids had a great time, too :) Thanks for coming over, Keegan!

Yippee...Skippee!!

It's almost time for Grace to meet her family! She is the newest daughter of our very close friends, Lisa and John. They will leave on the19th and 'gotcha' day is set for the 24th!! Lisa has been such an emotional 'rock' for me during my two back-to-back adoptions, all the time hoping and praying for her own daughter from China. And so to see her dream come to fruition is so sweet!! Follow her journey by clicking **here**.

My house

Is clean!! I was happy enough with the cleaning lady that came a few weeks ago, but when I got a flyer in my mailbox for a house cleaning service, I decided to give them a call. Turns out the lady that runs this company is a bonafide clean freak, just like my wonderful husband :) She came over to have a look-see at our house and give me an idea of what it would cost to clean. As usual, I started asking numerous questions, I'm a very curious person. And as usual, I get some juicy tidbit that lets me understand a bit more about this person I'm considering giving full access to all my 'stuff'. Turns out she just had to fire a lady who worked for her because she cleaned the outside of the toilet with the same cloth she cleaned the inside of the toilet with. Upon reflection, I can see that might be a germ freak 'no no' ... but I'm thinking "What's the big deal!?!" Needless to say, this information helped seal the deal, I signed up with her on the spot. She definitely has a whole different idea of 'clean' than I do! Bring it ON! I came home today at the designated time, three hours after she and three other ladies started cleaning. Well, they weren't even done yet! Yikes!! There is something totally humbling about knowing someone is in your house, cleaning up your messes. Your not-so-clean toilet. Your kids toothpaste on the sink top. Your dog's hair all over the upholstered chair. Well, once I walked in (I had to take the kids to McDonald's to burn some more time so they could finish) it was totally worth it. My house smelled and looked cleaner than it ever has. They even moved the rugs to mop the hardwoods underneath. They moved the leather couch and got ALL the dustbunnies. She and her team will be back in two weeks. It is such a wonderful relief knowing I can relax and spend time with the kids instead of making a weak attempt at cleaning. After all, it's my husband who's the clean freak :)

Why I love Sponge Bob

I admit, I used to hate Sponge Bob. I thought it was the dumbest show and refused to let my children watch it. Finally I acquiesced and watched a few episodes to prove to the kids how stupid the show was. Well, ol' Sponge Bob proved himself to be the sweetest, most kind hearted little sponge in the whole sea. But the most wonderful thing about Sponge Bob is what he does for my crazy little peanut, Isabelle. She loooves to watch Sponge Bob. I mean, loves him. When she hears the Sponge Bob theme song come on she drops whatever she is doing and hauls her little bootie to the family room and plants herself in front of the boob tube for a full 30 minutes. Often times I hear her giggling out loud at some of that unique Sponge Bob humor or Squidward's silly antics. It's pure heaven for her momma, who can actually get a few things done while she's 'in the zone'. But as soon as Sponge Bob is over, Isabelle is back on the move. Here she is getting her groove on to some of her brother's tunes. The jury is still out on whether or not she's got some moves, but she sure looks cute working on it :)

One year older

I celebrated my birthday last week at my sister's house surrounded by family (except Tori and Zach ... miss you guys!!). It was great to get together with everyone, but as I get older, birthday celebrations become less and less important. Chris insisted on buying me a fabulously decadent cake. It was absolutely gorgeous, so gorgeous I had to take a picture of it. It was 9 layers of alternating chocolate cake and chocolate mousse, topped with chocolate dipped strawberries and chocolate jimmies. It weighed a solid 25+ pounds and took our family 3 days of constant effort to consume. Well, I did save a chunk for Tori and Zach. Who loves you, baby?
I've been thinking a lot about my life, as one has a tendency to do at birthdays. After bringing home two precious daughters from China I wonder, what does God have planned for me? I know He intended for Isabelle and Sophie to be our daughters as much as our beloved biological children. Does He have any more suprises up His omnipotent sleeve? When we first arrived home with Sophie I told all my friends "If I ever talk to you about wanting to adopt again ... remind me of how difficult this is!" Well, here I am, exactly 2 months after I met Sophie for the first time, and if I felt God leading us to adopt again, I'd do it. Without batting an eye. As tough as it's been parenting solo, listening to Isabelle or Sophie cry because I have the other sitting on my lap, and as much as it pains me to miss out on some things with my older kids because the girls need me so much right now. Why? Because at the end of my time here, I won't be wondering "Was there something I could have done to do more? Did God have a job for me that I didn't try to do?" I know I don't do an awesome job at mothering, but I get in there and get my hands dirty. Some days I have to grit my teeth and tell myself to put one foot in front of the other. Some days I am certain that I am the most blessed person on the face of the earth. And knowing that I had a hand in raising two baby girls from China to know love, to know a family, and to know God, well, it doesn't get any better than that. Unless you're talking about raising three baby girls from China... ;)

Pics from the park

We found a local park to spend the afternoon. The kids had a great time, but, once again, my girls were not thrilled to be the focus of my picture taking. Isabelle is old hat at these types of playgrounds, but Sophie is like a kid in a candy store everytime we get out to play. Yes, I did get her ears pierced and she didn't even cry. And yes, it is that hot here. Poor Sophie was 'glowing' :)