A little more...

So far I've received a good response from families who would like to share their stories. But it seems that a lot of people have similar questions so I thought it would be wise to answer those questions here, to provide a bit more clarity.
These are the types of stories we are looking for:

1) What made you decide to pursue a child through the SN program?

2) What was your experience like with the SN program?

3) Were you happy with the agency you used? Why or why not?

4) Have there been any additional issues with your child? (medical, physical, attachment, etc)

5) Has your child's SN been what you expected? Were you prepared? What advice would you like to share with others regarding your child's SN?

* Feel free to share your experiences, good or bad. There is no topic that we DON'T want covered, from attachment problems to undisclosed health issues. Above all, I want to paint a realistic picture of the SN program.

* The story can be any length, as long or as short as you like. It doesn't have to be perfectly written either, these stories will be shared with other families, like yourself, so they don't expect perfection, they just want to read about real families adopting real kiddos. Nothin' fancy required!

* Also, it would be easiest if each story was about one topic, that way we can keep the topics separated. If you would like to share your story on more than one topic, that would be great! We need ALL the experiences we can get!

* Some people have asked about pictures. We'd LOVE to add pictures of your little one to your story! Feel free to send them along when you submit your story. All families that submit photos and/or stories will get a sneak peek at what is cookin' before we make things public. So don't worry, you'll get a chance to see how it will look before everyone else does ~ **added bonus**!

* We will be accepting stories on an ongoing basis, but I'd love to get a good start by next week. So this weekend would be a great time to get some thoughts down on paper :) Your story will undoubtedly be a blessing to many families who are trying to decide if the SN program is right for them. Haven't we all been so blessed? Let's share the joy with others!!

* Email me at chrisnstefanie@gmail.com if you have any other questions or to submit your story. THANK YOU :)

Three word Sunday

Where's my LOA?!?

Something new...

I am SO excited! I have been thinking about this for months... it was born out of a conversation with my sister (one of a zillion) and I am finally ready to get started! Rebecca has graciously agreed to collaborate with me to create something completely unique. And most of all, it's going to hopefully benefit the ones who need our help the most: the special needs kiddos who wait.

I'd like to wait to officially announce WHAT the 'something new' is but need your help in the meantime. To make this as functional, useful and resourceful as possible, I need your input. If you are a special needs family and would like to share your story, please email me at chrisnstefanie@gmail.com. You can share about your child's need, your agency, your experience in the SN program... anything that has to do with China's waiting child program. Your story can be positive, negative or just informative, each and every experience is important! If you have your story already posted on your blog or website, you can just send me a link. Or if you'd like to remain anonymous, that's fine too :)

If you have any questions, feel free to email me. I am so excited about this and sincerely hope that anyone who has been blessed by a special needs child will want to share their story so others can see how truly amazing these little ones are!

More squares!

I've received some more beautiful fabric and blessings, thank you all so much :) The pictures have been added to Shepherd's quilt site, feel free to visit! If you'd like to participate, but haven't yet, please do! We need 88 more blessings for our little guy and I know there are many of you out there who have supported us in so many ways... we want you to be represented in his quilt too :)

82

Today is day 82. I felt like this picture represented how I feel some days about this wait. It can truly take it out of you and leave you feeling beat up and worn out. Knowing that your child is waiting, across the ocean, for you to come... with most likely sub-standard care, possibly crying himself to sleep. Well, it makes 82 days seem like a lot longer.
To be honest, I never thought we'd wait this long... God has given me the gift of eternal optimism (is that a gift? ;)). I was so saddened last week to hear our LOA might be another 4 weeks off. Say it isn't so!! My sweet friend (and social worker) Karla had the difficult job of popping my bubble of hope... and well, it hurt! Thankfully, God reminded me on several occasions since that His timing is perfect. And that His ways are not my ways. And in my heart of hearts, I wouldn't want it any other way.
So where does that leave me? Waiting for sure. But not so anxiously as before. I am hopeful (there's that optimism again) that we'll be able to travel for Shepherd in July at the latest and although not my first choice (duh) I'm not going to complain. After the rumors swirled about no travel allowed over the summer months (not true, btw) my perspective has changed. I just want to get my baby and bring him home. July will be fine, thank you :)

They got me...

For years I was able to withstand the draw of clipping box tops. I mean, I had better things to do with my time than pull apart empty boxes and collect tiny coupons for 'education'. I ignored the occasional plea, "Send in your Box Tops and your child gets a gold star", sent home by way of a flyer stuffed into every unsuspecting child's backpack. I told myself, "We pay taxes, man! Why do I have to send in box tops?"
Then one day my Asher came home with a story. His friends had gotten their 'prize' for sending back a full box tops sheet. "A prize?" I asked, almost afraid of the potential magnificence of said prize. The prize my precious son did not also 'win'. "Yeah," he replied, "Connor got to pick out of the treasure box. He got a ring with a ball on it and you flip it up. It's not like attached to the ring... you throw it up in the air and try to catch it." Okayyyy, I can see why you're so devastated. A plastic ring. With a ball. Probably cost a few pennies and it's ruined your day. More to the point, your non-clippin' mama ruined your day.
That was the last day I turned a blind eye to the power of the box tops. I collect them. I clip them. I save them up until it's 'prize' day at the elementary school and I dutifully tape the box tops into the tiny outline transposed over each letter of the alphabet on the box top sheet (they are SO smart... they want at least 26 of those babies to make it a count-er). I also celebrate on the days my kids bring home a sticker or a pencil 'prize'. I gaze, with somewhat feigned excitement, at their for-the-moment treasure. And I remind them to show daddy when he comes home, so daddy doesn't miss out on all the feigned-excitement-fun ;)
And the people who put the heavy sell on the kids at school are artists, I tell ya'. Gone are the days of the lame-o gold star stickers. They fill the children's heads with thoughts of prizes, toys and even promises of ice cream parties for the most tops collected by a class. That's right, they get you with the individual effort for the 'prize', then they hit you again with the group effort for the ice cream party. I told you... these people are pros.
I often wonder, wouldn't it be easier (and less laborious) for me to just buy some cheap-o prizes at the dollar store and give them out on a monthly basis? Would my kids get that sparkle in their eye and that spring in their step if they were to get their 'prize' from my junk drawer? Somehow I doubt it.
So far this box top collecting, clipping and taping has been a labor of love. And not all that painful, to be honest. From Toaster Strudels boxes alone we generate at least a half dozen box tops a month. Yeah *grin*... my kids are good. We do a lot of cereal around here too. I think we have, single-handedly, afforded our school at least a computer or two. And I must confess, the effort is totally worth it. As is every pencil, sticker and plastic ring that they lovingly tote home. They got me... they sure did :)

What's new with Isabelle

What can I say? The girl is doing amazingly well! We recently had her IEP meeting (IEP = Individualized Education Plan) with her teachers and therapists at her school and we all sat there amazed at how FAR she has come this year. Her special needs class (especially her teacher, Mrs. Hall) has been the biggest blessing in our little girl's life! She loves school and is happy every morning when I ask her if she wants to go see Mrs. Hall. We all still feel like she needs one more year in the SN class, but for the first time I can truly imagine Isabelle NOT needing any therapy or intervention! Praise God! It was just a bit over a year ago that we were told by a developmental pediatrician that Isabelle was autistic. Clearly, she is not! She does have her own way about doing things, but more and more she is just simply, a normal little girl :)
We were able to discontinue her private speech therapy last month, she is doing so well! She was tested on her last visit and she tested at 3-0 years for receptive, 3-1 for expressive and 3-8 for articulation! What an amazing feat for a little girl who had ONE word just a year and a half ago!! She still receives speech therapy at school 3 times a week and her SLP thinks she is coming along wonderfully.
She is becoming so much more inquisitive, too. Her favorite (and only) questions used to be "More, please?" but recently she has asked "Where are we going?" "Where is daddy?" and even the long awaited, "Why?" I can't tell you how thrilled I was when she asked me this... it's been a long time coming, but she is finally becoming interested in what's going on around her! When we drive she will now point out things, "Look mama! A school!" or "Look mama, it's raining!" It's so exciting to hear her pipe up in the back of the car where she used to sit silently, content to just watch the show on the DVD player. We still don't read a lot of books as she just hates to sit still that long, but she is making such huge strides! It has been such a blessing to witness her blossom into the child that God intended for her to be. We still don't know exactly what her future holds, but we don't worry about it any longer. I questioned God many times during those dark days that followed her autism diagnosis... but His plan is perfect. And His creation, Isabelle, is perfect. Just as she is :)

Missing my girl

On Saturday I drove up to Atlanta to spend the day with my girl. Well, my biggest girl ;) She had invited me up to see a musical that was playing at her school on Saturday night and I decided to go up early so we could have lunch and shop a bit before the show. We had the best time together, I just love spending time with my girl. We went to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants for lunch. Upon checking this place out ($10 for a burrito?), I shared with her MY experience with Mexican food in college: frozen bean burritos from 7-11! Must be nice to be her! Clearly, the girl is getting too much spending $ ;) Then we did some window shopping in the hip district in downtown Atlanta. Talk about the fast way to make one feel O.L.D. We found a funky, feminine dress for Victoria at a vintage shop, she was so cute in it I just couldn't resist buying it for her. Then we walked around the Georgia Tech campus for an hour or so before the show, talking and giggling about... well, everything. The show was hilarious, I loved it. But even more, I loved the company :)
It is bittersweet each time we are together, I am reminded how much I miss her. Gosh, I am just nutty about her! She is such an incredible young woman, in so many ways. I have watched her grow into a responsible, loving, funny, bright, self-confident, compassionate, and beautiful person. And as much as I'd love to think I had something to do with it, she is so unlike me, so much her 'person', I know she has found her own path, in her own way.
Now that she is gone from our 'nest' I find myself cherishing the memories of her childhood all the more. And wondering how in the world she grew up so quickly!? What I wouldn't give to have her back for just one more year. But I have no regrets. We spent so much time together... laughing, joking, talking, just being. We did several mother/daughter Bible studies which was a fantastic opportunity for me to discuss with her those 'things' that we as parents don't like to discuss ;) And I like to think she learned a thing or two about herself and what God wants for her, for her life.
What an honor it is to be her mother... I love you, my beautiful girl!

A is for Apple

Tomorrow marks 10 months since Jude has joined our family. He is such a JOY! He has such a fantastic sense of humor, honestly, he makes me laugh out loud on a daily basis. God must have known that all the happiness and laughter he brings to our family would more than balance the additional workload ;) I truly thank God for our precious Jude all the time, and I am so glad that God made it clear to us that he was our son, I hate to think of our lives without him!
He now points to letters and tries to name the letter, but his pat answer is "E O E!" Then he cracks up at himself... and usually has everyone else laughing with him. How can we resist that big ol' grin?! His vocabulary is exploding... he is adding new words daily. He loves to name things, waiting to make sure we know he knows the correct word. Occasionally he'll even start up a conversation with a stranger... his opening line is usually, "Shirt!" as he points to his own shirt. When he's feeling feisty he opens with "Pants!" ;) Yesterday I was dressing him in a button- up shirt. So he said to me, "jack". He was informing me that this was a jacket since one must put it on one shirtsleeve at a time... I just didn't have the heart to correct Mr. Smartypants ;)

Orphan Ministry?

How does an Orphan Ministry operate? We are working with our wonderful pastor and his wife to come up with some ideas for how to start an orphan ministry in our church. Since I've never been a part of one, nor have I even had the chance to witness one, I am having a hard time explaining how it might function within the body of the church. Also, our pastor is new to the idea of an orphan ministry, yet he seems very open to starting one in our church. So I am enlisting your help :) If you belong to one, or better yet, if you have started one at your church, I need your input! I'd love to hear about how your ministry works, what materials you use (if any), how often you meet and in what capacity. Any and all advice would be SO appreciated!
We have a few more months left at our church before we have to move and I would be positively giddy if we were able to plant a tiny seed in the heart of our church for the needs of orphans.

Family Picture Day

Yes, it's that time again! Family Picture Day :) Anyone with even one little one knows that picture day can be aggravating at best and downright painful at worst. After our last trip to the portrait studio I had very low expectations. But the day went much better than expected. Amazingly, we managed to get a picture with all of our faces in it AND no one cried! The entire time! Chris and I were really worried about the little ones falling apart (Isabelle and Jude) but they were, thankfully, really good! So we were thrilled about the prospect of getting a moderately cute family picture WITHOUT tears! Could it be? When we were done I excitedly went to the monitor to view the pictures but was horrified to see the vacant/pained look on the faces of Dalton and Asher. I mean Dalton looked like the mugshot of a juvenile delinquent! Seriously... the family shot we chose was based solely on the fact that Dalton was not frowning and Asher was only moderately staring blankly into space. Geesh! We thought we went over the whole 'smile' thing with these guys... you don't have to be actually having fun, you just have to look like you're having fun! And I'm not sure that Sophie got the memo either... she looks like she's been smiling, against her will, for at least a year. Sadly, her hair looked SO cute at home, but something must have happened between the house and the picture place... I really DID fix it! Thankfully she's cute as a button regardless :)
Alas, another family picture day done. Moment captured, warts and all. To me, it's a beautiful family on the outside and in, full of love and laughter. And after all, what's a family picture without something to laugh about? :)

Fun in the tub

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

67

Today is day 67 in our wait for LOA! I am sorta surprised that we're almost knocking on day 70 already... I guess staying busy with all the kiddos has finally overwhelmed the sense of time dragging during this wait? I have definitely felt more relaxed about everything since we got our precious PA last month!! Based on past experience, I strongly suspect I'll get the 'ants in the pants' feeling before too long. Any wanna hazard a guess for the arrival of the prized LOA?

Yesterday

Yesterday I was enjoying my first real day 'back' as the kids went off to school, leaving me with just Sophie and Jude, and I had NO WHERE TO GO. I truly love those days, no place I have to be, no errands, no appointments. So there I was, chillin' in my 'yoga suit' (which is just a nice term for 'sweats') and my fuzzy socks, puttering around the house working on a few projects. I figured, I have no where I have to be, I'll get some stuff done around here! So I stripped some beds, pulled the girls clothes out of their closet and dresser and decided to get the spring stuff in their drawers and the winter stuff put up in storage. Shortly thereafter Isabelle got home from school and I got sidetracked: kids need lunch, make lunch. Kids make mess, mom is still trying to complete projects. Mess is growing by the minute. But I'm not worried. I figure I have until 6:30 when hubs gets home to get it all together, right? Then came the phone call that went something like this:
"Hello... Stefanie? This is Caldwell Banker and we have someone who would like to see your house today at 5:00. Would that be alright?" It was 2:15. I managed some barely intelligible consent to said showing, all the while trying to figure how in the WORLD I was going to get my house even presentable, much less lookin' good? I surveyed the house and my initial suspicions were realized and then some. The house was tee-rashed. Living room: covered in balls, miscellaneous kitchen items, empty juice cups. Kitchen: noodle dishes still in sink, dishwasher full, counters strewn with 'stuff' from our trip and random things- you- can't- throw- away- but- don't- know- what- to- do- with, pringles and cinnamon roll cereal crushed on the floor. Bedrooms: floors covered with bedding, sheets still in the washer, beds... well, naked. Kids: happy... they were trashing the house. Sophie was still in her jammies and Jude desperately needed a nap. And last but not least, myself: in serious need of a shower, hair unwashed and wadded in a bun, clothes unfit for public wear. It wasn't a pretty sight.
I must confess, I have a whole different set of standards for friends who might come over for dinner or to visit and for a stranger who is coming over to peer into the deep recesses of my home. I mean, I know what I look at when I go visit houses... in closets, in attics, in bathroom cabinets. And I don't like to see anything I might label "yucky". So when someone is coming over to my house to have a look-see, I get after it. My friends are a bit more forgiving :) I've realized, if my husband is sick of me sitting around not getting the housework done, all he has to do is pretend someone is coming over to look at the house and within 3 hours, the house will be clean, top to bottom. Obviously, I'm not letting him in on that, though ;) Somehow, I managed to get the toilets scrubbed, carpets vacuumed, beds made, kids dressed, counters cleaned and polished, sink scoured, floors swept, wastebaskets emptied and furniture dusted. I basically did my entire week of chores in a 3 hour span. It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn good. Needless to say, I'm taking today OFF. Now, if I could just figure out a way to keep it this way... ;)

Friends, old and new

On our way house hunting, we were fortunate to be heading through Birmingham, home to Lifeline, our agency. I couldn't resist the opportunity to visit with the wonderful Karla Thrasher, head of Lifeline's China program. I also was thrilled to get the chance to meet Laine from The Ferrill Bunch and her precious family finally in person after emailing for months. We were also joined by Amy, who works with Karla, and between the four of us it was non-stop chatter about kids, China, and SN adoption... three of my favorite subjects ;) We spent 2 hours over lunch and I could have easily spent 2 more! It was so much fun and thankfully my husband was a good sport and wrangled all the kids while I chattered away. The kids were so cute together, Dalton was smitten with Kimmie and the two of them made fast friends. When it was finally time to go, we insisted on pictures but unfortunately the sun was beating down on us. You can see the poor kiddos don't have the advantage that Laine and I do: sunglasses!
Thanks so much for hanging out with us for the afternoon Laine, Karla and Amy! It was SO fun... I'd love to do it again sometime soon :)

3 down, 97 to go!

Thanks so much to everyone who has contacted me about participating in a One Hundred Blessings quilt for Shepherd! So far I have received three beautiful fabrics and I am expecting a few more very soon :) If you'd like to participate, I'd be SO grateful! So many of you have helped support us in this venture to bring our son home, it would be fantastic to see you guys represented in his treasured quilt. To learn more, visit Shepherd's quilt blog: One Hundred Blessings. I'll be posting pictures of all the fabric and blessings that I receive, it will be such a fun way to 'count' Shepherd's blessings!

Update on Andrew Lowe

From Kathy:
What a difference 13 days makes. Today they took the dressing off his left leg to see if the muscle and skin grafts took and they were pleased to see how good it looked. It will be another month he said before we are out of the woods from the muscle standpoint but God has been with us and were in a brighter place today. They will start dressing it daily now and he might get to move to the rehab floor soon. He is still in a lot of pain but healing is taking place. We are so lucky! From the bone standpoint its going to take awhile because we have been told no weight on it for at least 6 months but the bone is doing well for as fractured as it was. The foot issue will be our next concern because it has a lot of nerve injury but it won't be addressed until the leg is fixed. Please continue to pray for healing and that infection stays away. Today he was able to get in a wheelchair for about 10 minutes twice and he liked that. It was good to see him out of the bed and not hooked up. Thanks to everyone who has prayed for him but please continue. We have a lot of recovery to do. I can't wait to get him home at some point. Kathy

It's encouraging news! Keep on praying!! And for future updates you can follow a blog for Andrew here :)

home sweet home

We got home very late last night (actually very early this morning) from a week away... house hunting!! It was a chaotic but wonderful week, even though we came home no closer to finding our dream house than when we left. Sorry that some of you guys have been worrying about us, I had intended to post before we left, but my husband, for some crazy reason, didn't consider that to be very high on our 'to-do' list and since time ran short (as it always does), it didn't get done.
Thanks for the emails checking in on us, we're just fine... maybe a tad bit worse for the wear of one week in a tiny hotel room with muchos kiddos... and we're very glad to be home ;)