"Diaper! Down!"

Those were the words I heard this morning as Jude shuffled into the kitchen after me as I was making breakfast. Seems I had forgotten something. That something would have been a diaper change when Jude woke up. Evidently the velcro tabs couldn't bear the weight of the contents and simply gave out. I can relate.


How the two of us laughed over this... something about his succinct choice of words for his 'condition' just tickled me. That and the fact that his pants were around his ankles. Good times.

Yes, I retouched the photo. And yes, he is indeed a boy. And yes, I know he's going to hate me for this one day. But for now a handful of M&Ms will do the trick.

Urgent adoption situation

Go here for details.

10 years of family pictures

Chris and I spent this weekend getting our little nest here ready for company. It's one thing to have your friends come and eat dinner. It's something completely different to have them come and stay for a long weekend. So we started on Saturday AM, with the intention of just cleaning. But it quickly led to culling, organizing, rearranging and getting everything just so. And if you clean anything like I clean, cleaning quickly turns into anything- other- than- cleaning. Even things I have previously dreaded suddenly seem not quite so bad. Like tidying up the junk drawer. Or folding and putting away laundry. Or putting my hand into an open flame. So it wasn't long until I got whisked away in my 'memory zone', a spot in my big armoire that needed some attention. And soon I was reminiscing with Chris... laughing at how we've changed over the years. Well, at least I was laughing. He was still cleaning.



Circa Christmas 1998. Our first official family portrait, Zach was 2 and Tori was 8. And oh, so cute! Chris and I were, well, young.

Fast forward to 2000. Asher joined the mix in mid-1999. And I clearly lost my mind and chopped off all my hair. I did give it to charity, though. Unfortunately, that is no excuse for the crazy side burn things I had going on. And no, my hair is not actually curly. I had to purposefully curl those babies. Chyeahhhhhhh. Making burns even worse was the sheer size of my hair. What's up with the poof on that 'do? And no, I wasn't born in Texas. But I did live there for 10 years.

This one was from 2002, Dalton arrived late 2001. I like this one, everyone is smiling and looks happy. And I'd lost the big hair and most of the baby weight. I have to laugh looking at this one, though, because it was around this time that we decided we were done having kids. Hahahahhaahaaa. Hahaa. Haa. Ha. I am sure God was laughing even harder.

Here we are in 2005, Isabelle had just come home from China. JUST. This was probably about 2 weeks after we got home. Is she a cutie patootie or what? Even considering my poor choice of the awkwardly placed headband, which looks more like a sweatband.
The boys are starting to get into that horrendous picture taking phase, making family picture time = misery. But we got the picture done nonetheless. I had decided to go for it and chop all my hair way off. Growing hair out just takes way too long. And I love short hair. And yet, clearly, short hair does not love me back.

2006, just weeks after Sophie came home. She still had a black eye from a spill she took at her orphanage. We're were goin' with the simplicity of the white again... matching had gone from a chore to a nightmare. I loved the girls faces in this picture. And thankfully the boys didn't look like they were wanna be extras in Night of the Living Dead.

Christmas 2006, waiting for Jude. We decided to get crazy and have a family photo taken for Christmas cards. Not a great idea. We spent way too much money on matchy match outfits and wasted an entire afternoon chock full of anxiety and bribery and ended up with an extremely mediocre picture. But there it is. I do love Isabelle's curly piggy tails. And Sophie's chubby cheeks.

Most recent foray into the family photo arena. This was taken last April and even though Chris and I are not only outnumbered but seem to be drowning in a sea of children, I really do like this picture. Not so much for how great (or not-so-great) everyone looks, but for how big our family is. And what each person represents in our family. Sure, we might all have a bit less in terms of material things, we might have to share even when we'd rather not. But is that such a bad thing? I don't think so. In fact, I think it's what God wants us to do all the time. Consider others. Share. Give. Love. Sacrificially.
Looking forward to seeing what our Christmas picture looks like this year. I have set up a session with a real photographer (no JCP*nny this year) and I can't wait to see how our family has grown with our little guy Shepherd added to the mix!

T minus 24 and counting!

That's right! Less than 24 hours to get your chance to win one of E.L.E.V.E.N phenomenal prizes from Rebecca's family fundraiser. It has blessed my heart to see the adoption community support each other in the way that I have witnessed over the last few months... you guys are nothing short of amazing!
So if you have been over to their site, which I am guessing you probably have, and you haven't made a donation, now is the time to do it!! And if you've already contributed to their efforts to help bring Owen home, then head over, peruse the long list of prizes one more time, and get just one (or two or three) more numbers. Feelin' lucky right about now, aren't you?
Rebecca is such an incredibly generous person, someone who is always giving and doing for others. How she has blessed me since we became friends about a year ago. And I know she has been a wonderful support, encouragement and inspiration to others as well. This is an opportunity for us to come alongside her and her beautiful family, and help them go get the little boy they've been waiting so long to hold.


Another way to support their efforts is by posting about their fundraiser on YOUR site. Then you can leave a comment on their site and you'll be entered in their Spread the Love Kate Sp@de handbag giveaway, just like I'm going to be after this :) Yeah, I AM feelin' lucky.

Divine, baby!

Check out that badge on the top left corner of the blog... thank you, Amie, for nominating No Hands But Ours for the best site in the Neighborhood & World category!! If you already became a 'member' of Divine Caroline when you voted for Amie's blog Heart Smiles, then bust a move and go vote for No Hands But Ours! Since Heart Smiles is nominated in the Parenting category, you can vote for BOTH sites... we're in different categories! And if you vote for No Hands, you'll be not only supporting the site, and special needs adoption from China, but you'll also be helping bring OWEN home! That's right, just like my gal-pal Amie is doing, if we can get enough votes to win, the prize money will go to Rebecca to help bring Owen home! Nothing like helping to bring home a precious special needs child to make your heart smile. And we'd ONLY NEED like 170 votes to overtake the current leader... we can DO THIS!

If you have not voted for Amie yet, then get off your duff and GO! The category she is in is a bit, well, more competitive. She's up against blogosphere giants like Bring the Rain. She needs about 1600 votes to win, but she's already on the FRONT PAGE of parenting blogs! So go, and vote for BOTH Heart Smiles and No Hands But Ours. Yes, you will need to 'create an account'. I know, I hate that stuff too. But it just takes about 2 minutes and if you do it like I did it (I made up a fake birth year - oh, hahahahaaaa! - and then I used one of my fake curse words as my 'password' - oh, stop it you silly girl! my sides are aching!) then it's a pretty well spent 2 minutes. You do some good for the world, and you get in a freebie ab workout.

So go vote before November 30! This isn't a vote for me or Ni Hao Y'all... it's a vote for SN kiddos, a vote for Chinese adopting advocacy, a vote for OWEN and his beautiful family, a vote for all good things everywhere! Okay, that last part was a bit much, but it is for a great cause. And if we did win, think of all the attention our new site would get. And that can only be a good thing for all those little ones who wait. A really good thing. I can't think of a better investment for your 2 minutes of time. That's not even counting the belly laughs.

My Chinese son

I have 5 sons and 3 daughters. When we started for Isabelle in 2004, we had 3 sons and 1 daughter. So it was a logical conclusion that we would be going to China for a girl. I guess I never put much thought into it, a daughter it was to be from the start. Sophie, who came home next, captured my heart when I saw her precious face on a special needs list, so we never even spent any time debating the "boy or girl" issue. But then came Jude. When we initially thought about going back for our third child from China, in my heart I was thinking it would be a girl. Honestly, that was without much thought on my part. So when God started laying boys on my heart instead of girls, and I felt myself resisting, I had to ask myself, "Why am I so stuck on adopting a girl?" And I didn't like the answer.

This is not a subject that many discuss in the circles of adoption, and I assume it is because it is of a sensitive nature. But I think it's worth the time and energy to get to the bottom of the discrepancy between boys and girls being adopted from China. At least in my own house. Initially it appears that of course, there are way more girls waiting in Chinese orphanages. And this may be the case. But I do not know now, nor do I think any of us will ever know, for sure. What I do know is how many boys there are on SN lists. By a huge margin, families are waiting to bring home little girls from China, whether through the SN program or the NSN program. And I am certainly not judging, I am one of those that was in line for a little girl. At the time we began our first adoption, it was for a NSN girl, ayap, thankyouverrrrymuch. But things have a way of changing. And God has a way of whispering to your heart in a way that is undeniable, no matter how hard we might try to ignore it. And what He whispered when we were going back for our third child from China, I must admit, I really did not want to hear.

It didn't happen all at once, but I began to find myself looking more at the faces of the little boys on the SN lists. Then I'd catch myself and my head would be filled with questions, concerns, that hadn't haunted me when we'd been going for our girls. "I can see myself with Chinese daughters... but a Chinese son??" I know, it's ugly. And I knew it, but that question and others still swirled in my head. "What would he look like?" and "Would he even like me?" were others that plagued me. But I pressed forward, seeking His plan and it wasn't long before those questions echoed less and less in my head. And my heart was feeling more and more like there was, indeed, a son waiting for me in China. What would he look like? What would it be like to be his mother? Would he and I be able to relate when he became an adult? I still had these thoughts, but the fear was replaced by genuine curiosity. Sort of like when you're pregnant and spend countless afternoons wondering about the little person that you have yet to meet, but think about constantly.

When we received Jude's referral, fireworks did not go off. Not even a little lone firecracker. How could we know this was our boy? We prayed and I told Chris it was up to him. I didn't trust myself to make the right decision for the right reasons. Chris woke up the next morning and read from Hebrews 11. And he knew. Jude was the one for us. Fast forward to China in June 2007. Again, as thrilled as I was to finally hold the little bundle we'd been longing to see, Jude had some issues. His scalp was covered in a fungus. His feet were horribly twisted, his ankles were bruised. His head was completely flat across the back from having to lay in his crib all day. One of his eyes did something funky. And he couldn't stand the sight of me. But he was still my son, whether I felt like he was or not.

Sometime between then and now I have fallen completely and utterly in love with that boy. My heart is so full of him. When he wakes up in the morning, I adore seeing the smile spread across his face when he sees me. And when he's tired or scared, I delight in being the one in whom he find comfort. Truly. 'Love' doesn't seem to encompass all the feelings I have for that boy. Our AFO-wearing, athlete's foot-sportin', Thomas-the-tank lovin' boy. Not sure when it happened exactly, but all those feelings I had are ancient history now. And all those questions that I worried about and then wondered about have fallen away into nothingness. I couldn't care what he looks like when he grows up. Or if he'll like me when he's a teenager. Of course, I care, but in the same way that I care about those things for each one of my children. I don't actively think about it. All I think about is that I want them to be happy. Healthy. And I'll do anything and everything in my power to ensure that.

My guess is that most of you are probably thinking that I sound like such a jerk for having those thoughts about my sweet boy, those concerns that were completely unfounded. So superficial! So trivial! I'd have probably thought the same thing if I had read this a few years ago. But if by reading this, just one person considers listening to that tiny voice in their heart that might be whispering 'boy' instead of 'girl' then a jerk I will be. I'm good with that.

Gettin' tech-y

There have been a few of you who have asked about grabbing the site button for No Hands But Ours, wondering exactly how to install it on your blog. First of all BLESS YOU for helping us spread the word :) Secondly, you are so not alone in requiring a bit of hand holding. Rebecca had to tell me how to install a site button just a few months ago. She's quite 'tech-y' that way. I tell ya, it really pays to have a friend in the blog redesign business.
Here we go:
1. Highlight and copy the code under the button you'd like to install. For your shopping pleasure we have the large button, for bigger blog sidebars... and then we have the smaller button, for those smaller blog sidebars. Just grab the code from under the button you want to install.
2. Head over to your blog and click on 'Customize' in the top right corner. If it says 'Sign In', then you'd better do that first.
3. Click on the 'Add Gadget' button and when that box opens up, scroll down to 'HTML/java script' and click it. When that box opens, paste the code in there and click 'save'. And voila, you are now officially helping us 'spread the word', helping SN families bring home SN babies (and big kids, too. They're all babies to me.)
And if you are like my buddy Kris and want to have a way for others to grab the code from YOUR blog (God love you, girl!!) then leave me a comment and I'll give you the code.
Thanks so much for all the support we've received, I can't tell you how blessed I feel when I see our little site button on a fellow mama's blog.

Here it is...

Click on the button and see for yourself... and then come back and grab the site button to help spread the word about this new resource for prospective SN families and those in the process of adopting through the SN program :)
I have somehow managed to get the incredibly talented trio of Rebecca, Amie and Tonggu Momma to agree to contribute their talents to this venture! Between the three of them, you know it's going to be good... I'm just along for the ride. And a big ol' thanks to Rebecca for her incredible talent, she did such a beautiful job on the site!
If you have left a comment or an email about your agency, your child's SN or your favorite resources, but they are not listed yet, don't worry! We are still adding content all the time. And if you would like to see something added, your family story, a link to your blog or a resource that you think would be helpful to other potential SN families, please let us know! The more families represented by this site, the more resourceful and helpful it will be.
nohandsbutours@gmail.com

Thank YOU

First of all I want to thank everyone who took the time to share about your little one(s) with me! You were a huge help. And if you are anything like me, you are wondering why the heck I need all this information. So, I'm am extremely happy to announce, you will not have to wait much longer!

A hint is that this is the same 'thing' I was referring to when I wrote this post. I know, it was way back in May and yes, clearly I do work slowly. But I did bring a baby home from China and move halfway across the country in the meantime. At least that's how I justify my turtle-like pace to myself.

I am so grateful to everyone who has participated in my little project so far and I can't wait to let you guys in on exactly WHAT 'it' is. Rebecca has worked tirelessly to make my tiny spark of an idea into a beautiful reality. So that's why it's been quiet around here, I've actually been working on something other than my blog. And raising kids. And yes, the consequences have been ugly. But oh so worth it. And hopefully, by the end of the weekend, you'll be able to share in Rebecca's and my excitement over our combined efforts.

One more hint is this beautiful poem by St. Theresa of Avila:

Lord Christ,
You have no body on earth but ours,
No hands but ours,
No feet but ours.
Ours are the eyes through which your compassion
Must look out on the world.
Ours are the feet by which you may still
Go about doing good.
Ours are the hands with which
You bless people now.
Bless our minds and bodies,
That we may be a blessing to others.

Anyone want to hazard a guess??

Calling all special needs parents

I am compiling a list of special needs, agencies and resources. I would be SO grateful to you guys if you would take a minute and send me any or all of the following:

1) your child's SN (and if they are home, approximately when they came home)
2) your agency and contact info if necessary
3) any resources that you found particularly helpful when researching your child's SN

Feel free to leave a comment or email me privately at chrisnstefanie@gmail.com.
Did I mention how stinkin' grateful I would be if you helped out? Because I really would be, really.

THANK YOU so much!!

A salute to my favorite veteran

If he had the day he deserved, it would have started out like this








Followed by some time in this

And you can't forget one of these, in case he got thirsty. A big boy needs a big soda, right?

Of course, no time in the LazyB*y would be complete without some of this. Nay, a lot of this...

And, to keep it interesting during the commercials, some of this....







Of course, after all that, one would need some sustenance...










Definitely possibly followed by this...

Sounds like the perfect day. Alas, my man did not have such a day. Nor do I suspect he will anytime in the next 18 years in the near future.

Chris' day started out with some of this...

Followed by some of that

A quick lunch of leftovers and then back to this...

And an evening spent doing this...

See why he's my hero?

The party, at last

"It's here, it's here!! They're finally celebrating my birthday!"

And celebrate we did with this awesome pirate cake made by Miss Colleen (who has serious cake decorating skills). Colleen offered to make his cake, but worried that she might offend me. Evidently, lots of moms insist on making birthday cakes for their own children. I assured her that this was not the case for me. Maybe a few kids ago a few years ago, but now I'm more likely jump on an offer of help like a dog on a pot roast.

Shepherd couldn't resist sneaking a taste of the frosting

And, obviously, it passed muster!

"Let's get this party started!"

The buccaneer crew sings a round of Happy Birthday with a few "funky chickens" thrown in

Wondering how that candle got blown out, since Shepherd had no idea how to blow out his candle. Guess we should have practiced that beforehand.

Making his best pirate face. Pirates do eat birthday cake, don't they?

Ahoy, matey!

Forget posing for pirate-y pictures, bring on the cake!

Sophie, not making her best pirate face. Just laughing about making a pirate face and how silly that would be. And oblivious to the piece of chocolate cake embedded between her front two teeth.

Required mommy and Shepherd- on- his- birthday shot. Mom trying her best to avoid looking pirate-y.

Blowing off the pirate theme and going gangsta' instead. How can Miss Colleen make a cake like that and be so darn cool at the same time? It boggles the mind. "Can I get a WHAT WHAT?"

Present time... Shepherd's first opportunity at presents just for him!

G'night to all from our big 2 year old, Shepherd!

Last day!

Tomorrow is the LAST day to enter the fundraiser to help bring Rachel HOME!! Please go visit the Lowe's site and read about their story to Rachel (if you haven't already)... there is no way you won't be touched by all they have endured in order to bring their girl home!
Plus... the prize is AWESOME!! A Nikon d60 camera plus a handmade damask camera bag and custom damask strap!
And yes, I HAVE entered :)

Awww, shucks

I am honored to have received the Honest Weblog award from Team Houston. Thanks, girl!
Here are the rules, 'cuz I'm supposed to pass those along...

“When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’.

List [if you can and/or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself. And then, pass it on.”

Y'all probably already know way too much about me and the visual is probably still lingering of my cheap-bra-wearing granny shoulders. But just in case there is someone out there who wants to hear a bit more about this ol' gal, read on. But consider yourself warned.

1. I have a super soft heart. I used to get upset with God for making me this way... crying over commercials, various and sundry roadkill... not pretty. Or fun. On top of that, I've been told I look really not-pretty when I cry. Double doozie.

2. I am incredibly sensitive. God bless my husband, he has to live with me. I am a slave to my hormones and there is one week a month that I am a nightmare quite challenging to live with. It is also during this week that I eat like I just got off Survivor Island.

3. I am naturally strong. When I was in 7th grade, I could bench press more than most of the boys in my class. I don't think they liked that very much.

4. I want to live in China someday. Maybe for just a year or so, but I really do want to go there to live and help orphans in some capacity. And possibly stay for a while.

5. I used to cuss like a sailor. I dropped the "f" bomb like it was nothin'. Not anymore, though... thank You, Jesus. Now I love digging up some old school substitutes. A few of my favorites:
dagnabbit
dadgumm
fartknocker
galldawg
and the ever useful daaaang!!

6. I have a memory for random and useless facts. I hang onto tiny bits of senseless information. Forever. But fail to recall that my daughter is responsible for snack day on Wednesday.
For example... I remember in 7th grade biology learning about molecules. He said, "So on Thanksgiving morning, when you smell that turkey cooking in the oven, it's actually molecules of turkey floating into your nose..." Take that fact and apply it to, say, changing a dirty diaper, or a big stinky fart, and you see why I don't get a whole lot done outside of my brain. And why I don't change poopy diapers with my mouth open.

7. I hate to watch movies. Not exactly sure why, I think I consider it a waste of time. Same thing with reading fiction books. Drives my husband and my kids nuts. I do sit and watch kid movies with them on family fun night. Well, most family fun nights.

8. I can't stand to touch frozen things. Can't stand it. The frozen food section of the grocery is agony for me. The more I know about sensory issues, the more I think it's my little sensory thang I got going on.

9. I love to sing praise and worship music. LOUD.

10. The real reason I don't spend a lot of dough on my lingerie is because my favorite kind of undies are just that. Cheap. I love the shiny, cheap-0 nylon and would wear it any day over cotton panties. And while I'm on the subject of panties, why are all the new fangled undies so dang small?? I mean, does anyone WANT to buy panties in an XXL? Probably why my raggedy grannies are still around... and in a size M thankyouverymuch.

There! Done and done. Now to pass along the love. Feel free to ignore this tag if you like, I just wanted you guys to know that I love how you keep it real, man! :)

Lisa at a motherlode
Amie at Heart-Smiles
Tish at 1st Time Mama
Patricia at Hip Hip Hubei (pw)
Kris at Tell-Her-This
Laine at Ferrill Bunch (pw)
Holly at Purpose Driven Life
Barbie from Moments, Memories, Milestones
and Miss Rebecca from China, Baby!

Guess who is TWO?!

That's right! Our big boy Shepherd turns T-W-O today! All 21 pounds of him ;) We will be having a mini-celebration tonight (think lots of tone-deaf singing and a candle in a Snickers bar) and the big party will be saved for this weekend, when we can really do justice to his big day. We are also hoping our new video camera will arrive in time for the celebration. Ours broke in China, right in the middle of our trip, the minute we walked out of Shepherd's orphanage. We have been too cheap waiting for the perfect time to buy a replacement, and we finally bit the bullet and coughed up the dough for a high falutin new one. We don't want to miss our little guy's big day or his first steps (on his new feet ;)) which we, technically, already did since he took his first steps a few days ago... yeah Shepherd!!!... but better late than never, eh?
So look for pictures and an update on what our little man is up to soon :)

A request

A fellow adoptive mama emailed me recently to share some heartbreaking news, and a request to lift this grieving family in prayer. Carrie, a close friend of hers, had returned from China only 7 months ago with her daughter, Meri-Jain (MJ). On October 24, MJ slipped and fell. Her injuries proved to be fatal and she passed away last Sunday. She was only 7 years old. Darlene has written more on her blog about MJ and her family.

I am friend of Carrie Kreuer. I would like for you to pass along the info, if you wish, for prayers needed for her and her family.

Her 7 yr old daugher, MJ, had an accident on Friday and passed away on Sunday evening. This is a very difficult time for the family, as MJ was adopted in the spring and has only been home for about 7 months.

There is an MJ Kreuer Memorial Fund set up thru her church and their is an online guest book for people to sign to send words of encouragement.

~Darlene