Sunday Snapshot: {Velvet}

When we got home from church and realized the cable and phone lines were back up, the first question I asked my husband was who should be the subject of this week's Sunday Snapshot.

He retorted, "You!"

After I threw up in my mouth a little bit, I asked him who else he thought should be the focus of this week's Sunday Snapshot.

And he said, "Velvet."

Now that, I can do.

I've actually been thinking a lot about getting out and taking some pictures of my old girl. She's not going to be around forever and rarely is she the subject of my picture taking efforts.

I must be getting sappy from seeing all the sweet doggie portraits over on The Pioneer Woman.



Nah. I'm already quite maudlin over this old, ridiculously hairy dog.



Chris and I bought her when we weren't even married yet. Choosing her out of a litter of five roly poly puppies was one of our first major decisions we made as a 'couple'.

We were young and wild and free back then.



Turned out to be a pretty good choice.

Velvet, so named because we foolishly thought she was smooth coated Jack Russell, has been a truly good, if occasionally naughty, canine companion.



She's run away more times than I can count. Not really run away from us, but towards anything that managed to catch her momentary attention: stray cat, possum, injured bird, dead squirrel, garbage truck.

Whatever happened to strike her fancy.

All this running away took a few years off my life. And added a couple of frown lines, to be sure.

Thankfully, she always came back. Or we managed to find her. Usually the latter.



She well into her senior years now. And doesn't make a break for it so much anymore.

Additionally, she is quite certain that her age has earned her some senior-citizen treatment around this place... special food, special bed, special treats.



And the right to be ill-tempered whenever she feels like it.

She doesn't tolerate the kids manhandling at all and does her best to keep them at bay with an aggravated bark.

If that doesn't work, she moves on to the tooth-baring growl.

But she's not fooling anyone.



Under all that wiry hair and bad breath, she's 100% milquetoast.

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see?

One hour into a grocery expedition and she's as smiley as ever.

See why I'm so smitten?

That, and she's cute as a bug.

generator diaries: day 2

Dear diary,

Not much new going on today. No power, no phone, no cable.

And no word of when they might be back.

I sure miss my internet. The old desktop just isn't the same without it.

Been trying to find things to do in the house for fun. Rediscovered some lightsabers and nerf guns at the bottom of the toy basket.

And blew the dust off an old Gameboy with a donkey kong game the size of a deck of cards... old school. The littles think they're 'big' now.

Cleaned out all the kitchen drawers and found enough change for a trip to McDonald's.

Also discovered that Vivi likes being a cowboy.

my new best friend

Yesterday brought torrential downpours to our area. Last night the power lines finally gave way to the unrelenting rain and 50+ mph winds.

We had just put the kids to bed and the house went silent. And dark.

Very, very dark.

Blessedly, last fall my husband was the recipient of some wise advice from a few long time residents: buy a generator.

I wasn't convinced until a conversation a few weeks later with a fellow military spouse. She recalled last winter and being snowbound and without power in her house with all her kids. For five days. And her husband was away.

But that wasn't the kicker.

She went on, waxing poetic about heating water on her propane grill. To wash dishes.

Right then and there I swore that would not. be. me.

So I acquiesced and told my hubby to go out and get his generator, if he was insistent.

Men just love to feel like it's all their idea. And I was happy to give my man a chance to feel like he was taking the bull by the horns.

So to speak.

School was canceled for today. It's after noon and we still don't have power. Even the phone and cable lines are out.

But we've got heat, lights and most importantly, I've got all my kiddos safe and warm at home.

With a cup of coffee in hand and my new best friend humming away in the front porch, life is pretty darn good.

pretty please

I blogged over at No Hands But Ours today about American Sign Language. In it's simplest, 'baby' form, ASL has made life a heckuva lot easier for our family as we have navigated the oft rough waters of communication breakdown with our newly adopted kiddos.

It's also pretty cool to be able to holler at your child in public, without saying a word.

Not that I would ever need to do that.

And while I really didn't want to go off on a tangent over there, I don't mind doing that here. On my home turf.

Going off on a tangent, that is.

At the very end of my post I shared how teaching Vivi (and all our other kiddos before her) just a few words in ASL has been a huge blessing for us. Seriously. The very first word we teach our kids, and to us one of the most important ones, is "please". I can't even begin to tell you what a temper - tantrum - buster this one, lone sign can be.

China is like a vacuum. Unlike anything you'd really ever experience in the real world with your new child. You travel there, after months and months of anticipation, arms overflowing with goodies and dollies and clothes with the tags still on, ready to spoil the heck out of your new baby. And well you should, they've been without for far too long. You've also got the added bonus of someone doing your laundry, your cooking, your cleaning... you can devote yourself 100% to your new bundle o' love. And that is definitely time well spent. But beware. It's a slippery slope and insanely easy to get your new child hooked on some unrealistic expectations and some really bad behaviors. Setting up poor habits in China might be just what sends you over the edge once you return home.

And reentry can be tough.

I am a huge advocate of devoting yourself and your time and your energy fully to your new child while in China. I am an advocate of carrying and co-sleeping in those first few weeks and months if necessary. I am an advocate of feeding goodies to, shopping for and giving gifts to your new child, as a way of teaching them, in an albeit primitive way, that you are good. You are nice. That they should not be afraid of you. And that, if allowed, you will meet all their needs.

If you happen to do that with food and goodies and toys, you're just speaking their language.

What I'm not a fan of of is spoiled kids. Hurtful actions such as hitting and biting. Temper tantrums. And no consequences for bad behavior. While I've never tackled really big stuff, I have had my fill of two-year-old belligerence and 18-month old temper tantrums. And we all know how ugly that can be.

So, where we we?


The sign for "please", when used correctly, can be a first step in the very positive direction of all things good. Doing, or at least trying to do the sign (obedience) equals getting what the child wants. All while not rolling on the floor, thrashing and screaming. I'm not sure how it works, but there hasn't been a child yet who has managed to continue to scream bloody murder, and make an attempt at signing "please". Just can't do it. So once they stop crying long enough to try to sign, they get what they want. They communicate without crying, and then they get a reward. Positive reinforcement all the way, baby! And it teaches good manners, too.

Another thing that I think is worth insisting on from the beginning is feeding. Of course, you're not going to want to spoon feed your 7 year old, but since 27 months is the oldest our kiddos have been at adoption, I was able to insist on feeding my kids. And I am so glad I did.

Yes, it's time consuming. Yes, it can be aggravating. Not to mention messy. But it's important to do all you can to have them associate their new caregiver (probably you) with food. Which equals, again, good. Kids love to eat. And you want them to come to you when they're hungry and learn to depend on you to fill this one very basic, and very important, need.

Another thing worth mentioning is carrying, which I sort of already touched on here, as well as in a past rant post. But it's important to reiterate because at no other time are you going to have a full two weeks off, where all your needs are being met, where you can totally focus on your new child. Use your time well. Carry them. Hold them. Lay with them. It is time really well spent.

Because once you come home, life is going to be chaotic. Wonderful and horrible and absolutely crazy. So my advice, take it or leave it, is to indulge your little one in China. With your time, your love, your attention. But set reasonable limits and don't allow behaviors way out of your comfort zone to get a foothold. Especially if it's something you're going to have to put your foot down on once you get home. Because by then, the behavior is sure to have escalated. It's one thing if your new child cracks you in the face, but you're going to be a whole lot more upset if they come home and bust a move on another one of your kiddos.

Setting limits is essential. And loving. And really and truly, eventually, brings peace. It's a tangible reminder to your new child that you are there to keep them safe and protected and out of harm's way. And there is no better time to introduce those limits than in China.

All while loving them up, 24/7.

a new arrival

Here is our newest addition to the clubfoot unit at An Orphan's Wish! He doesn’t have clubfoot, but a condition that affects his spine and the position of his feet. Our best hope for him is to cast his feet into a better position, get xrays done and then see what else can possibly be done for him.

This little guy is three years old.

And he needs some sponsors. And a name, too.



If you're interested in sponsoring this little man, simply follow the directions below. If you have any questions, please email me at aowclubfoot@gmail.com.

Once your sponsorship has been set up, I'll contact you to congratulate you on being part of changing a child's life! And if you are his first sponsor, you'll have the option to choose a special name* for the little dude, as well.

To sponsor a child, click here.
Choose "$35" and click "ongoing gift"
Then choose "Clubfoot Unit Child" to designate the specific fund
Add "for the new little boy" in the "special note" section
Then fill out the remainder of the form to complete your sponsorship.

And we'll do the rest!

*The only stipulation in choosing your sponsored child's name is that it is not a name that currently belongs to a child at An Orphan's Wish. To meet all the kiddos, visit here.

Just to show you the difference sponsorship can make in the life of a child, check out this little one. She's the one I introduced here a few months ago as 'Peanut'.

She was sponsored by a few very kind-hearted folks and given the name "Sophie". And she was loved on and tended to by the Carers at An Orphan's Wish.

And her clubfoot was very successfully treated.



And here is Miss Sophie when she left the Clubfoot Unit in January to live with a local foster family...



Amazing, wouldn't you say?

blessings

Before winter break was officially over, we finally managed to find a pretty sweet spot to take the kids.

And it was free.



Not only free, it was right on the beach.

Am I living in New England, or heaven?



Nah. If this was heaven, it would have been 30 degrees warmer. And I'd be 10 pounds lighter and 20 years younger.

But "free" and "on the beach"? I'll take it.



I wasn't always this way.

You know...



Cheap.

Or 'frugal' as my husband likes to call it.



In fact, I really do love to spend money. Especially on my kids.

And sometimes, I still do.

But we try to keep that craziness to a controlled minimum.



We've had to make some pretty radical lifestyle changes in order to afford the things that were most important to us.

And all the extras, we've just had to live without.



But you won't hear me complaining.

At least not unless you're my sister or my husband on most days.



Honestly, I thank God all the time for pricking our hearts a few years ago to change the way we managed our money.



Actually, how we managed His money.

If all blessings come from Him, then certainly Chris' paycheck is one of those things.



And we determined a few years back that we'd be better stewards with all He has blessed us with, so we could do all the things He wanted us to do.



It's been an incredibly liberating experience, learning how to take control of our spending.

Learning how to be intentional about buying things instead of accidental. Ever caught yourself standing at the checkout in Target and wonder how the heck you just spent $250?



Learning how to live this way has reaped us some pretty amazing rewards.

So if you were thinking of feeling a bit sad for us because we don't drive a super sweet uber-van that fits our whole crew...



And our kids don't get to go to fancy play-places...

And when we eat out it's fast food instead of posh food...



Please reconsider.



We're ridiculously spoiled.

I'm dyin' here.

Admittedly, 'dying' might be a bit of an overstatement.

But sometimes it feels that way.

I started off this Lenten season with lots of resolve and determination. After all, I'd publicly shared with you guys that I was giving up something. Something I would miss every. single. day.

And I have done just that. For exactly 5 days and 14 hours. And counting.

I did a little research on Lent. And from everything I read, the Lenten season is meant to be a time of fasting and abstinence, whether one is abstaining from meat on Fridays, or entire meals altogether. Denying the flesh, as it were.

And let's get one thing straight. I am not a fan of the fast. No way, no how. Honestly, it's one thing I have purposely avoided, whether for dietary reasons or for spiritual ones. But this idea of fasting seemed to be the one thing that kept coming up again and again when I prayed on what I should give up this Lent. What I was to sacrifice for Him.

Why not TV, Lord? Why?

Argh. And isn't that just the way God is? Hits you right at your very core? The one thing you don't want to give up is the one thing He wants you to give up. But not because He doesn't want you to have things you love, it's because He wants you to love Him and honor Him above all.

So, I've created my own mini-version (okay, very mini) of a fast. A healthful and small breakfast and then dinner, without any of the bells and whistles. No desserts, no snacks, no fun stuff. And, so far, I'm hanging tough. I'm definitely not withering away by any stretch of the imagination that would take a very verrry long time but I have definitely felt, well, deprived. And I've tried to remind myself that this feeling of deprivation is actually a good thing. It's a reminder that I am giving up something that I miss.

And definitely something that my love handles miss.

I'm determined to use this as an opportunity to change some bad habits, replace poor eating choices with good ones and get into a more healthful routine of caring for the body God has given me. This old girl ain't what she used to be, but she's the only bod I've got. And, God willing, she's got lots of good years left on her.

Additionally, I am trying to use the times I feel like I'm really struggling to pray and spend time with Him, if even for a minute or two, to help me get back into the right frame of mind. A place of gratitude. Of thankfulness. Of mindfulness of all He sacrificed for me.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

It sure is hard, though. I hadn't really realized just how often I was 'indulging my flesh'. Yuk. It even sounds bad. So, if you've given up something for Lent and it's killin' ya, know that you've got a buddy in me, struggling too.

Truly, when I put on my 'eternal perspective' glasses, I see the deep and lasting value in observing this season. The key is having the right goals in mind and maintaining a proper, an eternal, perspective. For me, this journey is turning out to be a revelation of sorts.

And if I can lose 10 pounds in the process, so be it.

Sunday Snapshot: {matters of the heart}

Adding Vivienne to our family has been easy.

Relatively easy.

I mean, adopting a toddler is way different from the way a newborn enters a family... all wrinkled and clueless and malleable. At two years old, Vivi might still be tiny, but she is most definitely not clueless.

She's experienced a lot in her two years. Too much.



At four months, she was left at the gates of the orphanage. At one year, she was moved from the orphanage to foster care. At two years, she was placed into our arms.

That's three more familial transitions than any child should ever have to endure. And that has, no doubt, taken a huge toll on her ability and readiness to trust her heart to another.



And I see glimpses of that.

In the way she hesitates to come to me when she's sad or upset.

In the way she wakes up, thoughtful and occasionally melancholy.

In the way she looks away when her feelings overwhelm her. And she wants to be alone.

And I know she is missing someone.



There is a sadness and a distance in her eyes some days. And on those days I do my best to drop the non-essentials and carry her. To put her on the counter next to me as I cook. To dance around the kitchen with her. To sing in her ear.

And I can feel her soften. And I can see joy sparkle in her eyes again.

But some days it's just not that simple.



She doesn't cry when I leave (which isn't often, but still). She says, "bye, bye!" as she waves from the crook of daddy's arm. And this saddens me.

She doesn't call me "mama" unless she really wants something. And she calls everyone "mama" when she really wants something. And this saddens me.

But it's not really her job to make me happy. And occasionally I have to remind myself of that.

It's my job to do my very best to make her happy.



And to have faith that day by day, I'm gaining her trust.

And I see that in her smile as she toddles toward me with arms outstretched.

In her sigh as she nestles her head on my shoulder to fall asleep.

In her eyes when she throws her head back to laugh as I swing her around the kitchen.

And I know, little by little, she's sharing her heart.

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To join in this Sunday Snapshot, just grab the code under the Sunday Snapshot button. Paste it into the body of your Sunday Snapshot post. Once you hit 'publish' it should show up just fine :) Then add your link into Mr. Linky below. Don't worry, he won't bite!

To use Mr. Linky, be sure to link your Sunday Snapshot post, not your main blog url.

To do this, go to your blog. Click on the title of your Sunday Snapshot post. The url in your browser window will become a direct link to your Sunday Snapshot post. Copy that url and paste it into the Mr. Linky window, along with your name, or your blog's name, whichever you prefer.

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venturing out as one big family

This week was the kid's 'winter break'. Not sure what you're supposed to do on winter break, but we're pretty much broke, so we're not going anywhere.

And usually, we're pretty good with that.

But yesterday, we got a bit of the wanderlust. And we just really want to go do something.

So I tied up the couple o' tasks I was working on and jumped in the shower. Then we got the kids ready. And then, 2.75 hours later, we were ready to go.

We started off with the park in mind. It was a beautiful day, well above freezing and the sun was out. The kids each had a bottle of bubbles in hand, they could hardly believe their good fortune... the park and bubbles?!?

But once we arrived at the park, we realized there were a few considerations we hadn't, well, considered. Like all the snow. Only two of us had on snow boots and even that was a fluke. Just so happens that Jude's favorite shoes are his snow boots and Vivi's cutest shoes are her snow boots.

So we turned around and decided to try another park. We chose one that was a bit more wooded and we hoped much less snow-covered.

Turned out we were right on the snow cover, but hadn't considered that the temperature had made much of the melted snow turn to water. Which, by the time we (and numerous other folks) had arrived to enjoy the day, had turned to mud.

Mud on a few pairs of feet is okay. But not on eighteen feet.

So, we decided to go to a third spot, a beautiful bridge where the kids could get out and see the frozen lake and we could, if nothing else, enjoy the beautiful view.

But halfway down the road to the bridge, the snow plow evidently broke or the driver gave up. The road was impassable.

Strike three.

We'd had enough of the great outdoors and decided to head for the bowling alley. By this time Vivi was asleep and I was halfway to la-la land myself. Chris ran in to see if the prices were reasonable and if there was room in the place for our big crew.

Bowling shoes X 9 = $27
Two games X 9 = $54
Snacks X 9 = $alot

Bowling? Not gonna happen.

So we came home. And the kids blew bubbles in the snow-plowed driveway.

The sweetest part? Not one of our kids complained.

But we all did laugh. A lot.

Ironically, it turned out to be quite a memorable day.... for all the right reasons.

fitting in

Today marks four weeks since we came home from China with Vivi in our arms.



And it's been a pretty crazy four weeks.



Life is definitely different with the addition of this little one.



We can't fit all the littles into the tub anymore.



We can't fit into our car anymore.



We can't all fit around our kitchen table anymore.



And Chris and I can barely fit into our bed anymore.



She sleeps right smack in the middle of our king-size bed.

Sideways.




But even though we're squished in the tub, driving two cars, with extra mismatched chairs at the table and falling off the sides of our big ol' bed...

In our family, Vivi somehow just fits. Just right.

gorgeous

Yesterday was Isabelle's cardiac check up.

In case you're new, or curious, Isabelle came home from China in May 2005 at 11 months.

With a half-dollar sized hole in her heart.



She underwent a very successful open heart surgery when she was 18 months old.

And she's been one healthy little booger ever since.



In the spring after her surgery, she was released from cardiac care. Her surgeon simply felt her repair and recovery went well enough to justify her no longer being under the care of a cardiologist.



But, since our move, our new insurance provider wanted to have Isabelle re-evaluated with a new cardiologist, just to check on her heart since her surgery over four years ago.

And the timing could not have been more perfect.



In the last few months Isabelle has asked some serious, conversation-stopping questions about the telltale four inch scar down her chest.

And her face would get somber as she listened intently to the (child-sized version) story of her broken heart.

But she wanted to know more. She wanted to be able to see her heart.

She wanted to know it was better.



So, when she found out that she was going to have a special appointment with the doctor and actually get a chance to look at her heart, once she was certain they weren't going to cut her open again, she was insanely excited.



Once the day actually arrived, she could barely contain herself.

She smiled from ear to ear through all the weigh in, check in, and EKG.

And once it was time to go for her ECHO, she all but jumped into the ultrasound technician's arms.



And so began 45 minutes of watching Isabelle's heart, beating away on that big, blue screen.



Isabelle chose a Dora DVD to watch on the almost life-size screen on the wall.

But I actually think she preferred watching the blue screen. Starring her heart.



With all of it's sounds, movements, and measurements.

It really was fascinating.



As I'm often wont to do, I asked a million questions.

About hearts.



And heart defects.

And heart repairs.



As Isabelle rested under her warm blanket, eyes moving happily from one screen to another.



Once the doctor had a chance to look over Isabelle's results, she had one thing to say.

"Her heart is gorgeous."

And she continued, which was great, but totally unnecessary after that all- bases- covered statement.



"If there weren't a patch on it, I'd have never known it wasn't a perfect heart."

And with that, I grinned from ear to ear.

Because to us, it is a perfect heart.